Fanfictions of Fanfictions!
by TheTawnyColoredAbyssOfDoom
Summary: Just as the title says :D Multiple fandoms, but probably mostly Death Note X3 T for language, perverted jokes, all that good stuff that a proper parody fic needs.
1. Are YOU A Pretty Girl, Mello?

**A/N: Alas, a new ff- but this one is a collection of oneshot fanfics of fanfics :O**

**Abyss: Me & my friends came up with this at school, so part of the credit goes to Jax (jakethedog), Ash (QueenOfAshes), and Falcon (who doesn't have a ff :/)  
><strong>**...  
>And Tawny really had nothing to do with this chapter XD<strong>

**Tawny: HEY! Just 'cause it's true doesn't mean you have to announce it... Dx**

**Disclaimer: Neither AbyssQueen nor Tawnyshine nor our collective account TheTawnyColoredAbyssOfDoom own Death Note or it's characters, nor Subtract, Add, Unite, and Conquer or Miss Bright's OC Allie!  
>Thank you, Miss Bright, for giving us permission to post this<br>**

* * *

><p><strong>Original Passage From: <strong>Subtract, Add, Unite, and Conquer by Miss Bright, chapter 8; "Ride From a Stranger"  
><strong>Fandom: <strong>Death Note  
><strong>Summary Of What The Fuck Is Going On: <strong>_(Original;) _It was raining. Allie just attempted to steal Mello's motorcycle. Mello didn't like that. Mello strangled Allie until she passed out. Matt made Mello bring Allie inside so she didn't catch a cold or worse. Now they're taking her home. The story turns out to be MelloxAllie. _(Changed;) _Pre-scar, not post. Because this just wouldn't work post-scar.  
><strong>POV: <strong>1st- Allie  
><strong>Title: <strong>Are YOU A Pretty Girl, Mello?

* * *

><p>I was literally twiddling my thumbs as I sat stiffly in the front next to the redhead, who was driving through the rain at breakneck speed. My heart was in my throat. How he could see anything while wearing those goggles was a mystery to me. I had wanted to sit in the back but...<p>

_"I call shotgun," Mello had demanded, only to be waved off by his friend._

_"The pretty girl gets to sit with me. Are you a pretty girl, Mello?"_

_Mello deadpanned. "..."_

_"Well _I _think she's pretty!"_

_Matt cracked up, but I didn't understand why._

_"I'm a guy!" Mello roared indignantly, and I could practically see the steam rising out of his ears._

_"Ohhhhhh Well that explains a lot! I thought I was turning lesbo :)"_

The leather-clad blond _man_ was now seething quietly in the backseat.

"So," Matt suddenly turned to me, as if nothing unusual had happened, "Mello said you live by LAC High?"

I couldn't help myself. "Yes! But eyes on the road," I cried, pointing at the windshield. I closed my eyes, shutting out the view of the blurring road.

I felt his warm breath on my left ear. "You're in no position to tell me how to drive. After all, you accepted a ride from a stranger," Matt whispered.

Mello chuckled from the back. "And candy," he added.

I opened my eyes and shot them both looks of suspicion. "What...?" was all I could manage.

"Relax, we're only teasing," Mello muttered. "Do you want more, by the way?" I checked the rear view mirror. Sure enough, he was holding another bar of chocolate.

I didn't reply.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Abyss: Not hilarious, I know, but I hope I got a chuckle out of you guys X3**


	2. I'm BAAAAACK :D

**A/N: EDIT: Jax came up with moar. X3**

**Abyss: ...Jax (jakethedog) is really the one that came up with this idea, I just took it and ran XD  
><strong>**...  
>And Tawny STILL had nothing to do with it XD<strong>

**Tawny: XDX**

**Disclaimer: Neither AbyssQueen nor Tawnyshine nor our collective account TheTawnyColoredAbyssOfDoom own Death Note or it's characters, but AbyssQueen (AND NOT TAWNYSHINE :] ) DOES own [FuckINeedANameForThis...] & her OC :D  
>Thanks you, myself, for letting me post this X3<br>**

* * *

><p><strong>Original Passage From: <strong>[Untitled&Unposted] (if you're good with titles, for Christ's sake please PM me on my account and I'll tell you what the story is about o.o) by AbyssQueen, chapter one (I guess? XDX)  
><strong>Fandom: <strong>Death Note  
><strong>Summary Of What The Fuck Is Going On: <strong>_(Original;) _Jaded, one of Mello's friends from Wammy's that happened to just up and leave when she was 11 (as was Mello) just randomly popped up in Mello's mafia. ...Oh dear God. _(Changed;) _Um... I think Jaydead-chan is on crack? XD Which somehow explains how she got the power of the emoticon?  
><strong>POV: <strong>3rd (Though the original is in 1st? XD)  
><strong>Title: <strong>I'm BAA~AAACK~ :D

* * *

><p>"I'm baa~aaack~!" Jaded practically sang. She was clutching her knees to her chest and rocking side to side obnoxiously, and Mello deadpanned at her, already annoyed about being woken up so early. "Did chu miss me, Melly-bear? :3"<p>

Ross, Jack, Roy, Skyer, Miller, and Jose, who had all gathered upon hearing of the break-in, began snickering profusely and attempted to snuff their laughter for fear of being shot. But they didn't need to worry about that foreshadowing lol!

"What did you just c-"

"You did, didn't you? I knew et! ^~^"

"..."

"You're still just as pretty as ever, I see!"

"I'M N-"

"Dammit Mello why do you have to be so pretty! I was hoping that I'd finally be pwettier than chu! I'M THE GIRL HERE GODDAMMIT I SHOULD BE PRETTIER THAN YOU!" Suddenly she was ranting. OhKiraNoOneLikesRantsSTOPHER!

"... ... ... Is that my chocolate?"

"Yup! ^~^ It tastes really good with mah caramel :D Have you ever had a Caramello? They're awesome! Especually while drinking Mello Yello, eating Marshmello marshmallows (yes, they exist,) and listening to Mellow by Spacekats-"

Mello stomped over childishly and swiped five bars of chocolate away from the redhead.

"NOWAITSTOP that last one is mine!"

"...You had your own, but you're eating MINE?"

"Lolyeah :D"

"...How did you know where my chocolate was anyway...?"

"Melly-bear,"

"..."

"I know you. Well. Well enough to know what room you'd choose, how NOT to wake you up, and where you'd hide your chocolate. ^_^"

"...And why are you here?"

"'Cause you loooooooooove me~"

"WHAT?"

"You looooooooooooooove me~ Don't denyyyyyyyyyyyyy et~"

More snickers came from Ross and his lackeys.

"..."

"You doooooooooo~"

"..."

"Even though you're suuuuuuuuuuper mad at me for just leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaving Waaaaaaammy's raaaaaandomly and committing a B&Eeeeeee at your Maaaaaaafia and having your duuuuuuuuumbass Maaaaaafia wake you uuuuuuuuuuup and steeeeeeeeeealing your chocooooooooooolate and loooooooooooooading your gunnnnnnnnnnn with Jolly Rancherrrrrrrrrrs and-"

"WAIT, YOU DID WHAT?"

"I wanted to know if you could use Jolly Ranchers as substitute for bullets, but I wasn't gonna risk ruining by Sauers, so I used your Beretta :)"

"..."

"I wonder if yellow Skittles would work? Everyone knows they're poisoned..."

Mello seethed. How he had put up with this person for most of his life was Beyond (teehee!) him. Even _Near_ pissed him off less.

Meanwhile, the others- no longer fearing for their life 'cause... The Jolly Ranchers would end up melting in the barrel of the gun, right? At least to the point where they got stuck?- burst out laughing, and Mello sent them a glare that would silence a T-Rex.

A big one.

A really, _really_ big one.

Teehee.

...

Anywho.

But after all, that 'Interrupt-My-Sleep-I-Interrupt-Your-Breathing' policy was still in effect.

Heyyyyyyyy I never mentioned it in this version!

...

Wellllllllllllllllll whateverrrrrrr~

"MELLO!" Jaded randomly yelled, rage filling her voice.

"WHAT NOW? !"

"YOUR MAFIA MORONS ARE LAUGHING AT YOU!"

"BECAUSE OF YOU! ! !"

"SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? !"

"WELL WHAT CAN I DO? YOU LOADED MY GUN WITH JOLLY RANCHERS!"

"SO? TAKE THEM OUT!"

"STOP YELLING AT ME, YOU BITCH!"

"Fine then," Jaded whispered. "Mello, use chur inside voice, asshole."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You looooooooooooooove me~"

"OHMYGODDDDD..."

"You doooooo~"

"..."

"I even got you a riiiiiiiiing~!" At this, Jaded, put her hand in her pocket and pullet out... a ringpop. Cherry flavored. Mmmmmmm my favorite.

"..."

"...Wait, that's not... shit."

"..."

"..."

Mello pointed his gun at Jaded. (Lucky her.) "Y-"

"NO."

"... Yo-"

"NO."

"Jaded, I have a gun pointed at you."

"Loaded with Jolly Ranchers."

"It might work."

"Might not. 'Tis why it's called an experiment."

"..."

"..."

Mello flicked his hand toward the group of 'Mafia morons' that were currently laughing loudly. At his expense.

_BANG._

Skyer went down, blood trickling out a hole in the center of his forehead.

The 'Mafia morons' went silent.

Mello aimed at Jaded again.

"Aw Mellsies..."

"..."

"iHAVE GUNS 2! ! ! 1 ! :D" Jaded somehow chat-screamed and pulled her two SiG Sauer P239s and aimed them back at Mello.

"And what's in them? Tootsie Rolls?"

"Hn... Interesting idea, but no."

"Regular bullets?"

"Nope C: Something even more dangerous."

"...What?"

"BULLETS MADE UFFF... CHOCOLATE!"

The remaining Mafia morons gasped dramatically, then burst out laughing. Mello glared at them, then turned to Jaded.

"How many Jolly Ranchers did you put in my gun?"

"One, and I took all the other bullets that you had in there out too."

"..."

":)"

"..."

":]"

"..."

":}"

"..."

":{)"

"..."

"c:"

"Wait, how the hell did that just happen? You didn't have a mustache, then you had a mustache, then you didn't..."

"C:"

"..."

"CCCCC:"

". . ."

"Well that was fun, but I got to go :3"

"...SERIOUSLY?"

"Lolyeah :D"

"..."

Jaded proceeded to leave the room, jump on her motorcycle, and leave.

While singing Mellow by Spacekats in an annoyingly high pitched voice.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So, _Melly-bear..._" Jose snickered.

"Shut the fuck up or God help me you will not live to see the clock tick by another hour."

"Our clock is broken, _Mellsies_. Ü"

"Then buy a wristwatch."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Abyss: Oo ...**

**Um... you can try the Jolly Ranchers thing (tell me if it works!) but don't go by what happened XDx **


	3. This is what happened, Sorta

**A/N: **

**Abyss: This time we're parodying Jax's (jakethedog) fic :D  
><strong>**...  
>And Tawny STILLLLLLL had nothing to do with it XD<strong>

**Tawny: XDX**

**Disclaimer: Neither AbyssQueen nor Tawnyshine nor our collective account TheTawnyColoredAbyssOfDoom own Death Note or it's characters, nor do we own Girl in a Boy's Dorm or Zeno.  
>Thanks you, Jax, for letting me post this :D<br>**

* * *

><p><strong>Original Passage From: <strong>Girl in a Boy's Dorm, by jakethedog, chapter 1; "Meet Zaragoza"  
><strong>Fandom: <strong>Death Note  
><strong>Summary Of What The Fuck Is Going On: <strong>_(Original;) _There's a new girl at Wammy's, but all the girls' dorms are full. So of cooooooooourse Roger puts her in the same room with Mello & Matt. _(Changed;)_ Uhhhh... nothing? X3 ...Imagine it being read in the voice of a five year old.  
><strong>POV: <strong>3rd  
><strong>Title: <strong>This is what happened. ...In essence. ...Minus a few major details.

* * *

><p>Zaragoza walked into Roger's office at Wammy's and observed the man in front of her. He was really really old. He had an important job. He was in charge of creating the new L. His job had to suck.<p>

When Zaragoza sat down the creepy old man began to speak in a weary tone; "Welcome to Wammy's orphanage. Let me start off by saying that I am so-"

"No your not," Interrupted Zaragoza, "My family sucked ass. I don't care that they're gone. So, as of now, you don't either. Skip the B.S. and tell me what I need to know."

Roger gave an uncomfortable cough, probably collapsing a lung or something. "Here's what you do, when, and where. And here's where you live," Roger said, not using any specific terms as to what, when, or where that was. "Just BTW, you're sharing a room with two guys. And there's only two beds. One of you sleeps on the floor." Zaragoza shrugged. She could care less. She could keep them in line. And she would be getting one of the beds. No, both! First she'd let the boys battle it out for the second bed, then take it from them anyway! BWAHAHAHAHA!

*cough cough*

I mean, she was a triple threat.

She was smart, lethal and gorgeous. [Insert description here using strange and lengthy adjectives, similes involving sunsets and dolphins, and... some other shit.]

She stood to leave, and walked out of the room.

Then Roger called her back.

"There's something I'm forgetting... Nah, go on ahead."

Zaragoza rolled her eyes. Alzheimer's disease. She left the room again.

"Wait! I remember! Uhm..."

"..."

"..."

Zaragoza left again.

"WAIT! I really remember now!"

Zaragoza sighed before returning to the office. "What?"

"Since I can't decide if your name is too weird or not weird enough, your name is now Zenophilia! YAY!"

"..."

"Good luck with not committing suicide within your first week here!"

With that, the newly dubbed Zenophalia made her was to the door, and into her new life.

YAY MERMAIDS RIDING DOLPHINS INTO A SUNSET OVER THE OCEAN WITH SPARKLES FLYING EVERYWHERE :D

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry Jax, it had to be done XD & where the HELL did you get the name 'Zaragoza' anyway? O.o**


End file.
